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There are so many unknowns when you bring your new baby home from the hospital. Every baby is different. My first was not like my second and my second was not like my third. Some sleep great and others don’t. My children weren’t the best sleepers. I had to try different methods for each of them, until I found something that worked. Some days were good. Some days were not so good. I know there are moms out there that probably feel like they’re failing. Maybe they feel like they weren’t cut out to be a mom. I know there were times when I allowed these negative thoughts to swell in my mind. The truth is we all do this. Sometimes, loved ones and friends, unintentionally place doubts in your mind that you aren’t doing enough, or are doing things wrong. Trust me, you are doing a great job!
I Was Told “All You Ever Do is Hold Your Baby”
I want to make something VERY clear. Don’t ever allow someone to tell you, you hold your baby too much!! They’re wrong. You can’t spoil a newborn. Yes, it can test your limits when your baby is constantly crying (colicky) or fussing and won’t go to sleep. However, your baby’s cries are their only way of communicating. They may be telling you they’re hungry, tired, their diaper is soiled, or they might just want snuggles. The point is your baby needs to know they can trust you. If you don’t respond to their cues, by letting them cry it out when they are to young, it can cause developmental issues.
The fourth trimester is real. The first months after birth, your baby needs to get used to being in this big world. They’re used to being with only the mother. They’ve been inside her safe, warm womb, hearing her heartbeat for 9 months. As a mom you will be tired. Scratch that, exhausted! But try to remember how scary this world must seem to your little one. All they want is to be close to you because you’re the one that makes them feel safe. Grab your baby and get your snuggle on!
Did You Grow A New Limb?
Feel like your little one is literally still attached to you? Sometimes, no matter how much we love our babies, it feels daunting when you can’t put them down without them crying. When they only want to sleep in your arms this may feel like a huge burden, but they need you. Some days it felt like I was just a source of food and warmth, but let’s keep this positive! What can you do? Well, for starters, try and remember they will only be this age for a short period of time. Babies grow at a very rapid rate. When your baby is one day old, this is the only time you will be able to hold them at one day old. When your baby is two months old, this is the only time you will he able to hold them at two months old. Cherish every moment your sweet babe sleeps in your arms. These are once in a lifetime opportunities for you and your child. You get the idea? It goes way to fast!
All my children ever wanted was to sleep in my arms. In the beginning, this wasn’t a big ask, but as they get older and the house seemed to be crumbling all around me, something had to give. I looked online trying to find resources, asked friends and family what to do. It all just seemed so complicated. People would ask, have you tried the “cry it out” method? This method isn’t actually recommended before 6 months of age. Some experts even recommend not trying this method until after 10 months of age. They also asked what my bedtime routine was? The answer was YES! I did all these things and more. All to no avail. I needed guidance from someone who had experience working with different babies and families. Not just some random person and their two cents. I couldn’t continue to go it alone, like a leaf in the wind.
One day while scrolling through my FB feed, I stumbled upon an ad for Sleep consultants. I clicked learn more and couldn’t believe all of the resources they provided. I always thought sleep consultants just taught the cry it out method and it wasn’t something I was comfortable with. They offer so much more than that. They have more experience with baby and toddler sleep habits than all your aunts, cousins and granny’s put together. Plus, they have the most current and proven methods with research and studies to back them up. You can rest assured with their help, you will be setting yourself, and your little one up for success.
I highly recommend The Peaceful Sleeper, Sleep Consulting Packages. They can give you “a more personal level of attention to solve all your baby’s sleep troubles”. It is very affordable and one of the best investments you can make.
In turn you will be able to get the rest you need. When you are well rested and thinking clearly, you can be the best version of yourself . If you are looking for a good resource you can use on your own, The Peaceful Sleeper’s eBook, “Get Your Sleep On”, is “a no-nonsense guide to preserve attachment AND sleep through the night”.
Benefits of working with a sleep consultant and sleep training:
- Step by step teaching
- Methods for every comfort level
- Promotes Physical, Emotional, Social and Intellectual Development
- How to preserve attachment while sleep training
- Get into a better routine
- Get baby to fall asleep on their own
- Sleep through the night
- Take appropriate naps during the day
- Prevent overtiredness
4 Month Check Up & Daylight Savings
When our youngest child turned 3 months old, we started to feel like ourselves again. Our little one was sleeping for longer stretches at night, which meant I was getting more sleep too. Then came our sons 4 month check up at the doctors. At the appointment he received his 4 months immunizations and all the progress we had made went out the window. He was irritable, fussy, only wanted to be held, and would not sleep longer than 2 to 3 hours.
Thanks to our experience with our sleep consultant, we were slowly getting back to our ‘normal’. We knew keeping to our routine was the most important thing and that this would pass. Then daylight savings came. This was just another disruption our little family didn’t need. For parents of little ones, “fall back and hour” doesn’t mean you get an extra hour of sleep. It means the exact opposite. You get one less hour, until your bundle of joy adjusts to the time shift. Oddly enough, “Spring Forward” is where you will wind up getting that extra hour of blissful sleep. You must think about how your baby perceives time. They are going by their internal clock, not the one on your microwave. It may have been 7pm and the new time is 6pm, but for your child it is still 7pm. Meaning, instead of waking at their normal wake time of 6am, they are going to wake up at 5am because that is what their internal clock is telling them to do.
My recommendation? The day prior to daylight savings, get them up an hour earlier, so they will go down and hour earlier and your routine can continue as if nothing changed. You must get ahead of the time change. If your baby naps at 11am, you must put them down at 10am. It may still take a few days, but this is where your daily routine will play an important role. Don’t skip bath or story time, keep to your schedule. This pre-emptive work will shorten the amount of time it will take your little one to adjust.
Remember Your Child Was Made For You, By You
When the days get hard and the nights get long, remember that you are always enough. The nights are often darkest before dawn. Don’t compare yourself to other parents or think others have it easier. They might have it even harder than you do but are putting on a good show. To your child you are their whole world. When they look at you, they see their lifeline, first teacher, comforter, healer and provider. For your baby, there is no one on earth whose existence is more important than yours.
If you ever need to talk to someone because it is becoming to much and you can’t cope, there are people who can help. If it is simply getting more rest, seek the help of a sleep consultant. If you are having other issues like depression or feeling hopeless please speak to your Healthcare provider. You are enough, you are worth it. Your baby needs the best version of you, so make sure you take some time for yourself. Even if it’s just listening to your favorite song, while you make a cup of tea. It’s the little things that go a long way.
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